Stories to Share

Memories

England 1965

Walking out of the 55th Street Theater Studio – Margot Fonteyn – said – “we are hiring you as an artist of the Royal Ballet – not a mechanic… with all of our human flaws, we step into the majesty of the movement, the music, the essence – each time.  We connect because we are human and because we are called to dance.”

 I knew then that I was stepping into another world – a realm of wondrous possibilities – a shaping of my being … a dancer and a person.

  I am forever grateful to Valentina Pereyaslavec – who ‘saw’ me – asked more of me than I knew was possible – she was not satisfied until ‘I knew’… until I owned a moment in my body that would forever be there.  Mme. Pereyasavec – sponsored me to take an audition for the Royal Ballet London - After years and years of study and training at ABT in New York, moving through levels and brilliant teachers,…. I was ready…I have not understood what Madame meant when she said, that if I stayed in NY – they would gobble me up… I would loose my soul…. I think finally,  I am understanding – I know when I see someone special – as my student or dancer in choreography or performance – they share an essence – the vulnerability of being human – not perfect but reaching and soaring – embodying the music or the structural movement, or the feeling of the ‘story’… we can see them and they share with us on the deepest level, something that stirs our very being….  I think Pereyaslavec trained me, asked me to know myself through dance -  to come to know myself more and more fully each time I moved,  as I moved, how I moved… I remember making up stories for the adagios in class because  when she asked me what I was saying – I had to know what was behind my movement, my timing, my release of a moment to step into the next moment and the transition -  She taught me posture and gesture- suspension and release, the turn of a head, the push of my elbow or hand, where to look as I moved and why…. Why the movement was soft or strong; quick, or with finesse that did not make it slow – just different in meaning.  She asked me to fly and fall – so much – and then – she passed me on to the Royal Ballet…

Somehow – it was different there but still the same. Yes, training every day- the drills and progressions for ballet technique, variations, repertory and infinite movement possibilities. I was guided to eat and sleep and told to go to the pub.  I was taught the history of music and art and dance.  I was shown color and texture and asked to listen and ‘hear’ in my soul.  To know how and when a conductor was moving the orchestra in their way of “portraying” the music. I was taught to hear the music in silence and suspension and to bring the lingering tones into and through my body.  An emersion into a world of dance that I had not known. Oh – it was rich and full!  My imagination and inspirations soared!  I was alive in every moment and could not wait for the next!

I remember to the days and weeks and months of being coached, mentored … there is no word – to being brought to embodying Juliet- the 14 counts for the dagger… trembling, taking and lifting, looking, crying – living the grief of Romeo (the complete contrast to trembling in anticipation of rapture with him in the balcony/bedroom. It is a magnificent journey to become Juliet - of innocence, love, loss, hope, grief, resolve – so much.   They gave me time – to come to know the essences for the movement with careful coaching and support… I think R&J still lives in my body.

 I was privileged to be in rehearsal for Marguerite and Armand- the months of finding and becoming for Fonteyn and Nureyev.

 DeValois was stern (and kind)

Julia Farron was a great teacher for me – hours of class and coaching. 

Justin House was a caring physio – every Friday check in, advice for body and mind.

I know there was talking and jealousies and probably so much that I did not see- Somehow I could stay immune – I could keep reaching and soaring…. Until that day – a freak accident, a broken mirror – shattered glass in my foot.

The  train ride to Ealing, my walk through the cemetery - back  and forth to home each day.  It gave me time – to think and feel… to re-member the day or anticipate the coming hours.